So…About that Timeline?
I was a victim of pressure. The pressure of feeling as though I should have had it figured out by now. The pressure of feeling as though I have nothing to show for as much time has passed. The truth is, I’m twenty-seven and barely any time has passed. I have a job, an apartment, a whole bachelor’s degree from Georgetown, and I really feel unaccomplished. I am writing a whole book for crying out loud. There is something very wrong here.
There is so much more to live for and discover in the world. Yes, I’m going to fall apart and yes, I am going to get back up. Yes, I am going to fail and yes, I am going to succeed. I mean, I have been laid off from two jobs in my life due to company acquisitions. I have been in corporate America for four years; someone explain how that’s possible. The answer: life
The point is, I have had to learn to stay in my lane and realize that my lane is going to look different than those around me. So what that my mother was married and had me by the time she was my age? That doesn’t mean I won’t get married and have kids someday. I realized I had to stop succumbing to the fear that it wouldn’t happen because of some unnecessary timeline I created in my head. This was another “list” that I needed to let go off. Whenever I think of clocks, besides being in a relationship, I have started to think about my biological clock as well. I have also wanted to be a mom on the younger end of the spectrum because I love the relationship my mom and I have. I wanted an age range like what we have for me and my children.
My aunt jokingly asked me once if I am going to give my grandfather great-grandkids and at this rate, the answer to that is going to be a no. I know I have time, lots of years before my clock becomes an issue, and with the miracles of science, even more time than before. There is the option of freezing your eggs. There are women who are freezing their eggs for a multitude of reasons. One of the reasons highlighted in an article by Elanza Wellness, “13 Legitimate Reasons Why Women Are Freezing Their Eggs,” is that women have not found the right partner. Despite the rise in Single Mother children, the majority preference of women is still to raise a child with a life partner. Bonnie, who is thirty-eight, said, “It’s not like I haven’t been trying to find a decent guy to date. I’m just not willing to settle. For me, having kids is more about starting a family with the right person.”34
Oh Bonnie, aren’t we all just trying to find a decent guy to date in general?
Like many women, while I know I can have kids on my own, I do not want to. I want three kids. Right now, I am leaning two boys and a girl, but we will see what biology decides to do in the future. The idea of two big brothers and the baby sister warms my heart just thinking about it. I think my dad is a little over being the only guy in our little family. I just have this image of those three gorgeous chocolate babies, all snuggled in their blankets sound asleep, my husband and I watching them in the doorway. Sigh.
Excerpt From: Nikki Akinyi McKenzie. “#RelationshipStatus.”
In this article series, I share excerpts and stories from my book, #RelationshipStatus. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect you can reach me here via email relationship.status.nm@gmail.com or connect with me on social: IG/Twitter: nikki_akinyi. Also, you can also find my book on Amazon — here is the link to buy it: https://amzn.to/3xf3IcB
