Status: I’m Over It….
Have you ever been really excited and then, five seconds later, heartbroken? If you have, then you know what I am talking about it. If you have not, I 10/10 do not ever recom- mend going through those emotions together, because all it does is confuse you.
We are going to talk about looking for love, and I know I will the audacity to agree with those people who tell us, “It will happen when you least expect it.” So, why on Earth would I title the chapter before, “I’ve Been Single so Long, I Feel like I’m on Year-End Clearance”? In the words of my girl Angelica, “It has to be the crack.” No, no it’s not. It is Instagram! It is alllll Instagram’s fault. Dammit, and we were doing so well.
I am a strong, independent woman: I have a job, I pay my own bills, and my skin care routine right now is unparalleled. My melanin is popping in this nonexistent summer of 2020. So, why is the first thought I directed to myself, “What is wrong with me?” Seriously, what the fuck? It’s almost ironic I decided to pen this chapter on this day, because earlier in the day, before I saw the engagement post, I came across a tweet posted by @idontdoclubs, and the tweet comes from Kaya Nova, “I noticed when I tell people about dating issues they immediately say ‘but you’re so amazing!
Your person is coming or you’re so beautiful, its gonna hap- pen!’ And I just have to ask since when have women being amazing or beautiful guaranteed us a safe, fulfilled dating life?”18
I have never had a statement resonate with me as much as this had. She is not wrong; I know what I bring to the table, and of course that doesn’t mean someone will sit down, but even if they do, is it company that will last?
Society has built this construct around us, claiming that our lovely personality and our “damn girl, you a ten” looks are supposed to be our golden ticket into a fulfilling dating life. I call bullshit, because isn’t this the same society that makes us feel crazy for not having a fulfilling relationship, a ring on our finger by twenty-four, kids, and a white-picket- fence house by twenty-eight (potentially being on kid number two by thirty, depending on how you spread your births out)? Dear society, if that was all I needed to be successful, why am I not living up to your expectations?
Excerpt From: Nikki Akinyi McKenzie. “#RelationshipStatus.”
In this article series, I share excerpts and stories from my book, #RelationshipStatus. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect you can reach me here via email relationship.status.nm@gmail.com or connect with me on social: IG/Twitter: nikki_akinyi. Also, you can also find my book on Amazon — here is the link to buy it: https://amzn.to/3xf3IcB
